Tuesday, 28 October 2008
Hearing Music
This morning I meditated by focusing on my breath for 20 minutes. It was difficult quietening my mind as it was already stimulated with thoughts. I lost focus but towards the end I regained consciousness and my mind was rampant with silent thoughts, they felt like they were completely seperate from me. In the background I heard some sounds, a melody unfolded - sounded like a piano playing. It was very soothing but I allowed it to last for only a few seconds as I felt too much time had passed.
Saturday, 25 October 2008
The Window
Woke up at 6:50am and tried falling asleep again at 8:30am. When I couldn't sleep I felt frustrated and tried to just focus on my breathing. Soon I felt the onset of vibrations in my head followed by that annoying buzz, in both my ears this time. After the vibrations I thought I had woken up until I looked at the window across my bed which was not meant to be there. Everything was dark except for the glowing window. I concentrated on this window in order to keep myself conscious.
Suddenly I was walking to the front room but couldn't recall getting up. Tried putting my hands through the wall but it was as solid as the walls in reality. I blacked out.
Again I was looking across the room at the glowing window. There is nothing visible through this window except an intense bright golden light. The window appeared like this several times in between the FAs I had.
Towards the end I am sitting next to another person on the computer - he is uploading something to his brain. There was also a computer in front of me and I got a telepathic signal that it was my turn. I cautiously stared at it - can't remember what was on the screen but I began to have a seizure like experience and ended up having a very vivid dream where kids and teenagers were protesting against a type of voting system.
As I was waking up heard several voices - can't recall what was said but just before I opened my eyes I clearly remember a female voice calling out my name and telling me to wake up.
Suddenly I was walking to the front room but couldn't recall getting up. Tried putting my hands through the wall but it was as solid as the walls in reality. I blacked out.
Again I was looking across the room at the glowing window. There is nothing visible through this window except an intense bright golden light. The window appeared like this several times in between the FAs I had.
Towards the end I am sitting next to another person on the computer - he is uploading something to his brain. There was also a computer in front of me and I got a telepathic signal that it was my turn. I cautiously stared at it - can't remember what was on the screen but I began to have a seizure like experience and ended up having a very vivid dream where kids and teenagers were protesting against a type of voting system.
As I was waking up heard several voices - can't recall what was said but just before I opened my eyes I clearly remember a female voice calling out my name and telling me to wake up.
Friday, 24 October 2008
The Lucid Chase
A lucid dream I had this morning:
I'm in my house, which looks completely different except for the structure. I see a man in the living room speaking to a boy, he looks about 10 years old. He tells the boy to stay put and looks around the house in a very detective like manner. I get the impression that he is protecting the boy. I get a view of a car parked outside. There are four men inside this car, each wearing bluetooth headsets and looking very Federal.
The Detective guy re-enters the living room only to find the boy has vanished. The car outside speeds off. Detective runs after the car and is in the middle of the road obstructing other vehicles. He looks for a car and in front of him sees a commuter that begins to wobble like jelly. Up until this point I was aware of the dream, here I become fully lucid.
I was a bit confused about what to do next so I assumed the role of my DC. I thought of several vehicles - none were to my taste until I thought of a motorcycle which instantly appeared. I hopped on and instead of going after the people who took the boy I was enjoying the flow of high speed motion. What an exhilarating ride!
I flashed out of consciousness from this scene into another scene where boy is in car trying to escape. Somehow he does and my consciousness flashes back to my main DC - the Detective. I knew where to find the boy but I wasn't heading in any particular direction - just straight ahead. The boy was now on the road, covered in mud, and heads in my direction. He gets on the bike and off we go, seeking escape from the car that was not too far behind us.
We ended up in some sort of tunnel, the boy needed to take a pee. After a long few minutes I heard a car coming through the tunnel and told the boy to get moving. I rode off only to be cornered by several vehicles. Surrounded by the DCs I was running away from I began to panic and froze feeling some anxiety. I looked at all my DCs who were running towards me and a thought crossed my mind - 'This is my dream, I decide what happens next.'
Suddenly the entire dream scene looked like it was being sucked in by a vacuum. I lost consciousness, ended up having several FAs. In the first FA I was reminiscing this cool LD I had.
This is the longest spontaneous LD I've had so far, it was so much fun despite the final moments of anxiety. I know it was just a dream but the vividness made everything appear so real.
I believe what helped make the LD last longer was playing along with it rather than trying to manipulate it.
I'm in my house, which looks completely different except for the structure. I see a man in the living room speaking to a boy, he looks about 10 years old. He tells the boy to stay put and looks around the house in a very detective like manner. I get the impression that he is protecting the boy. I get a view of a car parked outside. There are four men inside this car, each wearing bluetooth headsets and looking very Federal.
The Detective guy re-enters the living room only to find the boy has vanished. The car outside speeds off. Detective runs after the car and is in the middle of the road obstructing other vehicles. He looks for a car and in front of him sees a commuter that begins to wobble like jelly. Up until this point I was aware of the dream, here I become fully lucid.
I was a bit confused about what to do next so I assumed the role of my DC. I thought of several vehicles - none were to my taste until I thought of a motorcycle which instantly appeared. I hopped on and instead of going after the people who took the boy I was enjoying the flow of high speed motion. What an exhilarating ride!
I flashed out of consciousness from this scene into another scene where boy is in car trying to escape. Somehow he does and my consciousness flashes back to my main DC - the Detective. I knew where to find the boy but I wasn't heading in any particular direction - just straight ahead. The boy was now on the road, covered in mud, and heads in my direction. He gets on the bike and off we go, seeking escape from the car that was not too far behind us.
We ended up in some sort of tunnel, the boy needed to take a pee. After a long few minutes I heard a car coming through the tunnel and told the boy to get moving. I rode off only to be cornered by several vehicles. Surrounded by the DCs I was running away from I began to panic and froze feeling some anxiety. I looked at all my DCs who were running towards me and a thought crossed my mind - 'This is my dream, I decide what happens next.'
Suddenly the entire dream scene looked like it was being sucked in by a vacuum. I lost consciousness, ended up having several FAs. In the first FA I was reminiscing this cool LD I had.
This is the longest spontaneous LD I've had so far, it was so much fun despite the final moments of anxiety. I know it was just a dream but the vividness made everything appear so real.
I believe what helped make the LD last longer was playing along with it rather than trying to manipulate it.
Thursday, 23 October 2008
Midnight Exit Attempt
My projections nearly always occur spontaneously early in the morning between 4:00 - 6:00am. Projecting late at night is very rare, in fact I've only once projected in the evening. Last night I had a notable experience.
First of all I was in a really bad mood and felt incredibly overwhelmed which made falling asleep impossible. At exactly 12:00am I had enough of the constant bickering going on in my head and distracted myself by listening to some music. It worked and about 25 minutes later I felt sleepy enough. As I put my mp3 player away I felt incredibly drunk only difference being I was conscious of it. My back and my arms began to feel heavy - I quickly layed back down before I was completely unable to move. I figured it was SP. Tried getting up but felt stuck, then I raised both my legs, they felt so light and were up in the air. I don't recall getting out of my body but soon I found myself very aware in a dream state where I recall meeting someone, the details of this meeting is vague right now. I woke up at 1:00am.
First of all I was in a really bad mood and felt incredibly overwhelmed which made falling asleep impossible. At exactly 12:00am I had enough of the constant bickering going on in my head and distracted myself by listening to some music. It worked and about 25 minutes later I felt sleepy enough. As I put my mp3 player away I felt incredibly drunk only difference being I was conscious of it. My back and my arms began to feel heavy - I quickly layed back down before I was completely unable to move. I figured it was SP. Tried getting up but felt stuck, then I raised both my legs, they felt so light and were up in the air. I don't recall getting out of my body but soon I found myself very aware in a dream state where I recall meeting someone, the details of this meeting is vague right now. I woke up at 1:00am.
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Strip & Drill
I had two very distinct experiences this morning. Before I get into that I'd like to share an experience I had on Friday night. I had listened to the first track 'centered calm' of Hemi-Sync 'Opening the Heart' Series and finished it after 20 minutes as I felt quite sleepy. When I did turn in to sleep I began making a list in my head of all the things to do over the weekend. 6 random thoughts entered my head. I know these thoughts did not belong to me as they were completely unrelated. The last thought creeped me out - it sounded like a witch saying 'I'm going to get you'.
Now back to this morning - I woke up at around 4:30am and found it difficult to go back to sleep. I put on my earphones and listened to some music and Abraham-Hicks stuff. By 6:15am I drifted off to sleep, had a lucid dream and somehow found myself back in bed and heard the resonant tuning long 'ah' sound from the hemi-sync audio knowing that I was in the process of projecting.
Strip
I noticed that the covers were missing (I thought it fell on the floor). I also noticed my left hand was placed on a particularly private body part. My hand moved up to my abdomen and I seemed to have no control. However, slowly I began to regain some control, moved both my arms about. When I moved them it felt as though there was a powerful magnet at my center and this force was pulling my arms towards it. The control of my arms were taken over once again by some invisible force. My left arm slightly slanted upwards aiming the palm of my hand on my abdomen. It was bouncing and moving in circular motions. Then my right arm joined in. It was almost exactly like the Energy Work experience only this time I at least gained partial control. Suddenly I felt high and took back control over my arms, waving them about and really enjoying the magnetic pulling sensation.
My body was spinning anticlockwise - halfway on the other side of my room I saw a double bed that did not belong there. I was sinking towards the floor next to this bed (usually in my experience sinking means I'm about to lose consciousness). I was now in the 'void'. I remained conscious and nothing happened until once again I was back in my bed without the covers. Then the scariest thing happened, my pyjama top was moving. I looked closely and it seemed something or someone invisible was stripping my clothes. Panic set in and immediately I fought back. Woke up at 6:45am, back in bed this time with the covers on and fully clothed.
I realise that I was afraid when this took place because I was able to feel my clothes on my skin - I still had my physical senses plus the fact that I was in my bedroom made the experience feel all too physical. I know my fear is getting in the way of me moving on and further developing some astral control. I had a long and hard think about this. I affirmed that next time I have a scary experience I'm going to put my fear aside and face the unknown. This reflects in the following experience.
Drill
I fell asleep again at 8:00. Had a very vivid dream where I was playing a game with a group of people. Woke up from this dream still feeling tired I immediately conked out again and instantly heard a sound. Nothing was visible but I sensed a presence next to me. The sound grew louder and then I felt some impact on my head. I knew without a doubt that it was some kind of machinery. I guessed it was a drill. I felt it deepening getting through my skull. My head and face was buzzing. This might come as a surprise but there was absolutely no fear present. I got the idea that someone was working on me and I just allowed it, I suspected I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I opened my eyes halfway - my bedroom visible, nobody around and head was still buzzing, I was also able to still hear the drilling sound. Closed my eyes and just let it work until 5 minutes later I thought it was enough and got up at exactly 9:00am.
Now back to this morning - I woke up at around 4:30am and found it difficult to go back to sleep. I put on my earphones and listened to some music and Abraham-Hicks stuff. By 6:15am I drifted off to sleep, had a lucid dream and somehow found myself back in bed and heard the resonant tuning long 'ah' sound from the hemi-sync audio knowing that I was in the process of projecting.
Strip
I noticed that the covers were missing (I thought it fell on the floor). I also noticed my left hand was placed on a particularly private body part. My hand moved up to my abdomen and I seemed to have no control. However, slowly I began to regain some control, moved both my arms about. When I moved them it felt as though there was a powerful magnet at my center and this force was pulling my arms towards it. The control of my arms were taken over once again by some invisible force. My left arm slightly slanted upwards aiming the palm of my hand on my abdomen. It was bouncing and moving in circular motions. Then my right arm joined in. It was almost exactly like the Energy Work experience only this time I at least gained partial control. Suddenly I felt high and took back control over my arms, waving them about and really enjoying the magnetic pulling sensation.
My body was spinning anticlockwise - halfway on the other side of my room I saw a double bed that did not belong there. I was sinking towards the floor next to this bed (usually in my experience sinking means I'm about to lose consciousness). I was now in the 'void'. I remained conscious and nothing happened until once again I was back in my bed without the covers. Then the scariest thing happened, my pyjama top was moving. I looked closely and it seemed something or someone invisible was stripping my clothes. Panic set in and immediately I fought back. Woke up at 6:45am, back in bed this time with the covers on and fully clothed.
I realise that I was afraid when this took place because I was able to feel my clothes on my skin - I still had my physical senses plus the fact that I was in my bedroom made the experience feel all too physical. I know my fear is getting in the way of me moving on and further developing some astral control. I had a long and hard think about this. I affirmed that next time I have a scary experience I'm going to put my fear aside and face the unknown. This reflects in the following experience.
Drill
I fell asleep again at 8:00. Had a very vivid dream where I was playing a game with a group of people. Woke up from this dream still feeling tired I immediately conked out again and instantly heard a sound. Nothing was visible but I sensed a presence next to me. The sound grew louder and then I felt some impact on my head. I knew without a doubt that it was some kind of machinery. I guessed it was a drill. I felt it deepening getting through my skull. My head and face was buzzing. This might come as a surprise but there was absolutely no fear present. I got the idea that someone was working on me and I just allowed it, I suspected I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I opened my eyes halfway - my bedroom visible, nobody around and head was still buzzing, I was also able to still hear the drilling sound. Closed my eyes and just let it work until 5 minutes later I thought it was enough and got up at exactly 9:00am.
Friday, 3 October 2008
Becoming More Conscious In Meditation
Yesterday I meditated for 25 minutes in the evening at 6:45. I remember my arms moving slightly and my head felt like it was floating. Random images and flashing neon like signs began appearing. I remember seeing a face - it was really fast so I can't say whether it was male or female. I think it was a female. This occurred in the first few minutes. I then became aware of my soft gentle breathing which indicated my body had fallen asleep.
After that I lost consciousness but as I got snapped out of the meditative state (by external noise) I remember feeling as though much had transpired in those last 25 minutes however I can only recall those initial stages of the session.
Overall the meditation left me feeling incredibly refreshed and energized.
After that I lost consciousness but as I got snapped out of the meditative state (by external noise) I remember feeling as though much had transpired in those last 25 minutes however I can only recall those initial stages of the session.
Overall the meditation left me feeling incredibly refreshed and energized.
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
Mind Awake/ Body Asleep Via Meditation
I meditated this evening at exactly 7:00pm. For the first 5 minutes I breathed deeply, then I followed the flow of my natural breathing. Pressure feeling on my left temple. I felt like I blanked out for a long time when suddenly I became aware of a heavy breathing sound. My body had fallen asleep. I felt quite light in this state. I'm not sure if my body was paralysed and did not want to check in case I lost this awareness, but I couldn't really sense my body. I felt though that if I wanted I could've snapped out effortlessly. I continued focusing on the breathing and for the first time I was just so fascinated by the way my breathing operates all by itself.
I continued focusing on the breathing which became soft and then heavy again. I was unable to hear any other external noise. All I could hear was my breathing - I think my other senses had shut down. I was waiting to see what happens next, it was still dark and the noise was still present. It felt like a really long time until I decided to ask to meet my spirit guide. A few more minutes of waiting I ended the session checked the time, I had been in this sleep like state for 3 minutes. It actually felt longer than that, about 20 minutes.
I continued focusing on the breathing which became soft and then heavy again. I was unable to hear any other external noise. All I could hear was my breathing - I think my other senses had shut down. I was waiting to see what happens next, it was still dark and the noise was still present. It felt like a really long time until I decided to ask to meet my spirit guide. A few more minutes of waiting I ended the session checked the time, I had been in this sleep like state for 3 minutes. It actually felt longer than that, about 20 minutes.
Afterthoughts On The 30 Day Meditation Challenge
I'd like to start off by saying I'm actually not surprised that I've made it through 30 days of meditation, since I was very determined. As I have experienced some of the benefits of meditation earlier this year I guess it was easier to really commit. However, it has been challenging considering the conditions under which the sessions took place: increased noise level, screaming kids - need I say more?
In order to get a clear picture of the progress I've made I'll paint a scene from my early days of practice (from about 2 years ago).
The Early Days
I sit down in the full lotus posture, how I ever managed that is now a vague memory. Within just a few seconds of this I convert to the half lotus and so on until eventually I'm seated on a chair. With my timer handy and set for 25 or 30 minutes I begin by taking a few deep breaths (the incorrect way) and continue focusing on the natural flow of my breathing. Soon I notice an itch that starts off subtle and so I'm able to ignore it. Seconds later I've moved my focus from the breath to meditating on the itch. My urge to scratch this itch multiplies and so I give in to it, finding some sweet relief. Back to focusing on the breath, within a few minutes I'm thinking about a number of random things and in between calculating the number of minutes left before my timer goes berserk. Sitting still was possible, but sitting quietly still in my head was near to impossible. In between these rampant thoughts I hear the ticking clock and find myself in a state of boredom. Eventually getting so deep into my thoughts the timer goes off and I almost jump out of my chair, that timer was about the only seemingly involuntary thing that took place. A few days of this was enough for me to make excuses not to bother with even the thought of meditation.
Present Day Experience
I'm happy to say I am having a completely different experience now, it's almost as if I was just writing about someone else. Now that I've put more practice into deep breathing (properly) it's a lot easier to relax. I don't practice seated meditation unless I want to, I prefer lying down on the bed or sofa. My thoughts fade away easily and in a sense my mind feels loosened. I don't plan my meditations anymore and no longer use a timer which only makes me focus more on the concept of time. I often intend to meditate for 10 or 15 minutes but I allow myself to meditate for as long as comfortable. With that said I have had days where I just simply could not focus but those are to be expected, especially as a beginner. In the past I did try too hard and put in more effort. I realise now that meditation is something that requires the least amount of effort. In fact, the basic practice of meditation requires you do nothing which is probably the most difficult task anyone can do because just attempting to do nothing you are doing something. I think that's where the whole focus on the breath or other focused attention comes into play. It ever so slowly but surely guides us into a space of nothingness through which everything is endlessly flowing.
My goals for meditation have changed in that I don't meditate just to astral project or reap it's benefits. I realise that it's one of many tools to help exercise the spiritual muscles and a gateway to the dynamic states of consciousness we have access to.
The 30 Day Meditation has served it's purpose, I feel a lot more peaceful than I had before I started and it also helped as a reminder of my original intention to meditate everyday. I like being in that calm state of mind where I have no worries and nothing to hamper about.
Once again it is my intention to meditate everyday with a relaxed approach. I know that with more practice I can only get better at this.
In order to get a clear picture of the progress I've made I'll paint a scene from my early days of practice (from about 2 years ago).
The Early Days
I sit down in the full lotus posture, how I ever managed that is now a vague memory. Within just a few seconds of this I convert to the half lotus and so on until eventually I'm seated on a chair. With my timer handy and set for 25 or 30 minutes I begin by taking a few deep breaths (the incorrect way) and continue focusing on the natural flow of my breathing. Soon I notice an itch that starts off subtle and so I'm able to ignore it. Seconds later I've moved my focus from the breath to meditating on the itch. My urge to scratch this itch multiplies and so I give in to it, finding some sweet relief. Back to focusing on the breath, within a few minutes I'm thinking about a number of random things and in between calculating the number of minutes left before my timer goes berserk. Sitting still was possible, but sitting quietly still in my head was near to impossible. In between these rampant thoughts I hear the ticking clock and find myself in a state of boredom. Eventually getting so deep into my thoughts the timer goes off and I almost jump out of my chair, that timer was about the only seemingly involuntary thing that took place. A few days of this was enough for me to make excuses not to bother with even the thought of meditation.
Present Day Experience
I'm happy to say I am having a completely different experience now, it's almost as if I was just writing about someone else. Now that I've put more practice into deep breathing (properly) it's a lot easier to relax. I don't practice seated meditation unless I want to, I prefer lying down on the bed or sofa. My thoughts fade away easily and in a sense my mind feels loosened. I don't plan my meditations anymore and no longer use a timer which only makes me focus more on the concept of time. I often intend to meditate for 10 or 15 minutes but I allow myself to meditate for as long as comfortable. With that said I have had days where I just simply could not focus but those are to be expected, especially as a beginner. In the past I did try too hard and put in more effort. I realise now that meditation is something that requires the least amount of effort. In fact, the basic practice of meditation requires you do nothing which is probably the most difficult task anyone can do because just attempting to do nothing you are doing something. I think that's where the whole focus on the breath or other focused attention comes into play. It ever so slowly but surely guides us into a space of nothingness through which everything is endlessly flowing.
My goals for meditation have changed in that I don't meditate just to astral project or reap it's benefits. I realise that it's one of many tools to help exercise the spiritual muscles and a gateway to the dynamic states of consciousness we have access to.
The 30 Day Meditation has served it's purpose, I feel a lot more peaceful than I had before I started and it also helped as a reminder of my original intention to meditate everyday. I like being in that calm state of mind where I have no worries and nothing to hamper about.
Once again it is my intention to meditate everyday with a relaxed approach. I know that with more practice I can only get better at this.
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