Today after a long time I did another search on land in UK and again frustrated about all the red tape and how land prices are hiking I looked at the alternative - spain is also quite expensive now and I would have to look into the legal side which so far is also complicated.
I just want a piece of land work on - so passionately that I'm learning every skill I may need to have when I'm there which includes growing and knowing my wild edibles. Somehow ended up on a site about living in Bulgaria - the main thing that caught my attention was the price. It's dirt cheap and also there's not so much red tape around building a home, the climate is perfect and I like the fact that it is not an overdeveloped country. I felt the idea just growing and started talking about it to my eldest sister - will need to research more. In my excitement the Salvia package arrived and I got started with the intention to keep the thought of moving to Bulgaria in my mind.
The others were there some I remember from before - recognized a group who were attached with me somehow and recalled how I was suppose to give them a tour of this physical life, they were my guests and I was supposed to entertain them - felt odd that I forgot this so easily.
Everything was living and my dream to move to Bulgaria did not matter, whether I was in Japan or Russia did not matter - I felt like I arrived at my destination - this was the reality behind the physical reality, the basis the foundation of existence and it was from this that the outside projection was visible, from this the 5 senses were born and everything else that we know within PR. This was a new sight - a new pair of eyes and I knew at that moment who I am. I felt so deeply that this was natural - looked at my hand and I knew what had happened and how it can happen again without use of Salvia- Salvia was temporarily streaming in the blood of this body, waking up every little being within. I understood why I have been so obsessed with physical health - if we can heal the physical body completely cleansing it of suffering/pollutants and mentally completely cleanse it of emotional baggage the body becomes the perfect vehicle for that consciousness.
I knew that it wasn't the land that was so important, I don't need the land I just felt deeply that having and working a piece of land would be helpful to the process - deep down I know it is the physical body but for me now the physical body is synonymous to the Earth - they are literally identical and now living in the city feels like I'm living with cancer. But when I'm there - even in the presence of those others who are not always nice to me I feel at one with everything - no need to go anywhere or do anything. But then I come back, and what this reality really is is hiding again, or maybe I just lose my sight, the true sight. Again there was that knowing of the world inside the physical apparatus and I could feel structure of lower spine area moving and stretching - something going on in intestines.
If indeed the world isn't real then why do we suffer so, why do we face so many problems? Why is there pain? Why does this world appear to be so real? Is it really that we live in ignorance? We have lost sight of what is real so much that the pain and suffering that everyone lives with at least at some point in their lives is a device in order to lead us to the Truth? I still ask these questions, still trying to figure it out just in case I am wrong almost as though no answer is satisfying.
But suppose that was it, that suffering was merely a device to lead us on the correct path how do we break the chains of ignorance and wake up from that? We simply stop doing the things that create the suffering and suffering has multiple causes in the physical but only one source.
How do I or anyone else after seeing what this reality really is live? What is the purpose of that persons life? Personally I feel that I am supposed to help others see what I've seen with Salvia and at the same time I have to be able to see without the assistance of Salvia and I know that there is a connection between physical well-being and having a constant opening. The state of the physical body is essential to this because it is vulnerable to that other energy and its function is dependent on how well it already operates. This is why the Kundalini energy first seeks to correct the physical apparatus - a lot of the K symptoms are associated with certain disorders that it seems people without K amplification are going through a slow procedure.
I've always felt that the K symptoms that I personally experienced had some importance and that there are ways that we can assist to help heal the body or at least to correct it.
I am also aware that all this work operates in time - and over there where time has no existence everything unfolds in a flash any disorder is corrected instantly so much that you see what pain is. Just recently I bit left part of cheek - infact there is some other stuff going on specifically in left part of body. The bite formed an ulcer - under Salvia the pain from the ulcer diminished - detached as if deliberately held there by the others to give me the feeling of pain. We're playing pretend, this is a play and I don't know who is directing it.
Still someone in the middle of my forehead moving some other part like another body encapsulating this physical shell. The heart was beating to a different rhythm, rapid and yet in slow motion.
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