Parental Attention

There was enough Salvia leaves for 2 quids, but knowing and understanding the association I have with it I simply seperated it into 3 parts - because 3 convinces me that it's working to a greater degree.

Eyes closed this time carried like on a conveyor belt and then parked in some kind of factory - I'm getting this all through eyes closed perception. There were little beings - they're moving so rapidly working on me piecing me together - changing parts etc getting me prepared for something.

Then with eyes opened the room stretched - it was wider. Room expanding rather than contracting in previous experience. The others are being summoned. Once again we're going somewhere. The one summoning, a parent? or driver of this ride? The others start to point at me - I am thinking of what it is I want to do - that same dream - paradise on earth - but it's a ride.

Start to investigate this desire. I don't want to be here, life to be like this - I have a vision like many others. Then I am struck at the depth of this thought - I'm okay where I am - it's not so bad - I don't dislike my environment I just hate the terrible relationships I have and that is what I am trying to escape. And I realize for the first time - my desire for paradise is simply the desire to escape. I want to escape - to run away from here. I ask for healing to those around me for my own selfish purpose - if they're better than it is better for me.

The room is slowly being put back together as if to suggest that I got from this experience what I needed. When the room starts to shrink back to the usual size I tried once again to put in another input. I tell them to stop at some point where the room is still larger than it really is or was in PR. I suggest to them that my room was actually that big before I took Salvia and should they shrink it any further it would go against what is stored in the memory bank that forms the room. Once again there's no fooling this system. I think it's the brain that needs fooling and not the essence that shapes the form.

I also start to remind them that I recall being a little taller - and start to get concerned about the possibility of shrinking.

I take this moment to send my thanks to Anastasia who shared her wisdom in the Ringing Cedars Books and really sparked my desire to create a paradise here on earth. Though I realized that one can be inspired to do something and use it as a form of escape from something else, one can also be completely inspired.