Against Rules

Yesterday evening at about 9 I was on the second quid and already feeling major shift, so natural feeling I couldn't tell it had even occured.

There's a face of a young boy on carpet - I hear - feel his thought. He's ready waiting to move - through this I am certain there is no real power in psychedelics and these herbs we've deemed to have certain mind altering qualities. It is simply association with what we believe in the mind and because we believe it the effects are programmed within psychedelics and herbs. Or it could be something that was initially programmed for a purpose - no doubt all around us there are herbs and plants that have a certain function - we know many herbs are healing but how so? maybe because these plants are assigned a set purpose.

Designed as a permission slip - I feel by the chewing process I am giving permission for a lifting of the veil.

They started moving faster - in this state the brain is operating quicker - everything feels to be on speed.

I look at remaining leaves and now the idea of chewing more to increase depthness of this experience seems ridiculous. I put it to one side - the beings of the surrounding atmosphere look like they're proud of my brave move.

Again like before they want me to go somewhere - I remember once feeling like I was on some horse carriage in another experience - this time I'm not so compliant. I want to know who they are. I continue to observe.

I think at some point I should've memorized the faces I saw on carpet originally before Salvia to later observe any noticeable changes. They transmit to me that if that were so then even when I return to the ordinary waking state I would simply think maybe I had missed the changed faces and they were there the whole time. In another words they're telling me there's no point in over analyzing.

They look as though they live under the carpet but it is really they're forms coming through matter.

Where do they want to take me? I wish they could be clear on this. I get an answer and they're telling me that I need to die. Why? I protest. Can't I go there while alive? I realize suddenly that they want me to astral project - project out of the physical body. Now that makes more sense. I ask them if it is just like astral projection and I hear a loud resounding telepathic 'YES!'

I get ready, lay back down, lights off, eyes closed. I feel like I'm being folded.

Ready. Then there's silence - somethings wrong. I can feel it. Everyone is looking about trying to understand the situation. Maybe I'm just tense - can't relax - there is some resistance on my part. I tell them maybe I should chew the remaining Salvia - they're confused with my idea knowing I have already learnt my lesson about association with herbs and the fact that I'm already under the effects of this association with Salvia.

They decide to play along and start acting as though they are being put back into original starting frozen position - I know they're acting but regardless pick up bowl and chew away on remaining Salvia. Eyes closed light off once again ready to go on this trip. We're each me and other beings on some kind of carriage - ready to go. I'm thinking something and thought process has changed -the thoughts come out garbled - this is alarming.

Then I feel it - a larger being - a presence bigger than us - asking if we're ready. We're all like children cheering saying yes with great excitement, although I seem to be the odd one out because I don't even know what I am saying yes to. Suddenly there is a pause - the great presence that seems to be in charge has noticed something. The others are quiet now - I think they don't want to be caught out as whatever they have done was not allowed.

I started to feel some kind of warmth, some feeling coming close to me. I was warming and wrapped in this beautiful presence - I felt more ready than ever to leave with this presence. Suddenly a thought entered my mind about my mum in physical reality - and I was relieved that I was leaving behind that horrible relationship that with age seemed to be turning sour. Then something totally unexpected happens - the warmth folds me and tells me maybe you need to go back - something to do with this relationship. I am frantic and I beg for that presence to give me another order - "send me back for any other reason - I don't mind returning just please don't tell me to go back for that relationship". The others are trying to soothe me and agree with the presence that I should go back. I know I don't have a very good relationship with my mum but I never knew it was that bad.

I switch the lamp on - they're still in the room but being quiet. That presence - overwhelming me is still in the room - watching me to see if I give a slight hint that I'm still aware of it. I can feel the other entities trying to convince the presence that I've returned completely without awareness of them. When I hear this I start pretending I can't hear, see or feel them. I am putting on an act. I think I have to quickly do something earthly. Grab the bowl and think about cleaning it all the while the presence coming closer right next to me. I think it knows I am aware of it, it keeps trying to challenge me with this overwhelming feeling.

I stop and stand in middle of the room, I give up the act and talk to the entities telling them that I'm gonna start making some changes. I think about some of my hearts desires and I tell them about my dream of a paradise here on Earth and that they're invited.

When I start to walk about my movement is very awkward - it's like I'm in a movie being fast forwarded.

Recieved many insights that I'm a little hesitant to share at this time.

I wonder what was that presence - my general feeling of it is that it had this paternal essence - there was also something very dangerous about it.