At The Gates of Heaven

Yesterday morning another trip with Salvia - I was looking forward to have direct contact with what I've labelled Beloved.

Immediately these others in the room come through - there's a row of women and they end up on the left wall beside me. Above are larger faces of various women. The ones on the left begin to rock back and forth - they masturbating but not quite. They're signalling they want me to do that and then I panicked - just who was I dealing with here. I've heard of succubis and incubis - could these lot be these parasites.

I was torn apart what was that other feeling I got last - that caring feeling of belonging and warmth radiating from a certain presence. Covered my face with the duvet and tell them I won't do what they're asking me to do. So wrong in so many ways. I want these entities to leave, how can I make them leave. Finally they start leaving but then others enter - right above me gently starting to stimulate me and that pulsing wave feeling is them, but they're faces are about to fade. I'm wary of these entities - I don't trust anyone, not even my own judgement.

A few more leaves left decide to finish off and find out exactly what is going on not that I can ever trust what I think is going on - so easy to misconceive these experiences.

I lay back down and relax - there's a signal and the others are going somewhere. I'm with them - it seems only they know the direction. I have no idea where we are headed. There's a person scanning the others before we can enter through - the others get a pass, then it's my turn and I know I need to silence my thoughts. I stay as blank as I possibly could but a little nervous. I pass and get so excited.

Then there's one more gate - the others get a pass and I'm now extremely nervous but again I try my best. The person scans me and shakes his head - the scanner detects I'm the odd one out. The others all look at me - I read their expressions, none of them can go through without me. One man looks at me - he is obviously displeased. I ask 'What did I do wrong?' No reply, we're moving away now and I percieve to be back in the room - the others have spread out across the walls and ceiling in every inch of my bedroom. There's so many of them and I know most of them alone do not fit in the room. It's like I'm part of this group and they certainly aren't allowed to leave me behind.

I was effected by a huge wave of depression. What was that gate? The gate to heaven, it looked rather ordinary - nothing at all special. I told them 'If God and his heaven is beyond that gate tell him I hate him and I especially hate you lot and this really stupid life. I hate everything! now piss off and get out of my room'. Even after 30 minutes of weeping they remained in the surrounding atmosphere, they were still sexually stimulating me. That wave of energy is constantly on.