Salvia on Diseases

Found some Salvia left in drawer enough for two sessions.

Chewed the leaves with that feeling of transformation, knowing that the body is actually a unit and how false it is to consider oneself to be the body. As the 'detaching' begins I am mostly silent allowing this phase. However, I suddenly breathe and the breathing feels a pretend thing that I do out of habit and know that I mustn't do this when going deep into that space. The others detaching are distracted by my hold on the breath. I slowly let go, others multiplying. Inside the body meeting all the others from before, only this time I know I have parasites and I'm looking for them but not sure if they are there.

So much is going on near rectum, so many sensations in other body parts - legs would suddenly flutter, and many other parts with movement. I start to understand pain and what I've recently been diagnosed with 'TB'. They do this, give these things that we call 'disease' but it is merely a change of patterns, energy patterns that attach to the body, maybe that is not correct it seems they are actually within the body ready to be activated - and wherever there is existence there are multitude of energy patterns and these energy patterns are potentials within the physical organism. These patterns do not awake without a signal - the human being through living a certain lifestyle sends these signals and the energy patterns within the organism mutate forming these diseases. This is why today diseases such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes and a multitude of other illnesses are so prevalent - because human beings live a lifestyle that sends a signal within the physical organism to create these diseases. A great majority of people are living similar lifestyles therefore acquiring similar diseases. The cure is simple - change the lifestyle and the disease will cure itself.

The bopping of my head, the rocking swaying movements of physical body is the soul or spirit detaching from the body and yet it seems it is these others trying to pull it out or away or something.

Going deeper, downwards near reproductive organs, some expansion taking place. I feel whatever wires I have in this area are tearing apart. The pain is the most intense I have ever felt. I try to allow it tolerating as much as I can until I beg for mercy. I know I'm not the body, nor am I the part of the body seperating and the pain caused by it. This seems to be necessary for what I can't say, but I have to endure it - something in the beginning of this experience, if only I hadn't held on to the breath still despite that I'm sure this pain would've been just as excruciating. I want to scream but don't for fear of alerting others because I know my scream would travel beyond the house into the entire neighbourhood. There was at the time in the physical a lot of noise (trees being cut in street), it was only when I came back that I thought maybe the pain was from the cutting. I even thought for a few minutes that they were giving me HIV just because I spoke about it to my sister and I knew I had to be very careful with what I focus on in physical. Gradually the pain lessened to a normal state.

Deep down I feel next time I cannot take Salvia unless I'm home alone, there is some peace and quiet outside, I also cannot have any food prepared for that day nor can I eat prior to the session. I will have to meditate more often before next session. I think also I need to be willing to endure an extreme amount of pain without screaming and attracting external attention. I think something similar to a psychic surgery that I experienced earlier this year will occur only this pending surgery will not be without pain.

When I returned lunch time was overdue but I was not at all hungry - served my meal to the others in the surrounding atmosphere as a truce for not damaging the body and well, I felt like just sharing what I eat with them as a friendly gesture.

Later in the afternoon I noticed there were 2 tsp of salvia left already soaked from before. Quickly chewed it - not as strong as the earlier dose but that feeling was still present, relaxed lay down just skimming through the world of thoughts. I would imagine something and it would appear in my mind's eye almost perfectly clear color picture of my thoughts.