Salvia Understanding

Yesterday afternoon used salvia - chewed first quid for really long time, used cotton wool to block ears from external noise. Chewed the little bits, looked to right side of wall saw a little person made of shadow and light, felt the lingering presence. I knew if I put another quid in my mouth it would be an insult. I was annoyed because during the chewing process I think my sister knocked on my door or it could be I was hearing sounds from other physcial locations.

There is this fluttering in the corner of my eyes which is constant even in the day time and I wonder is Salvia still in my system - doubt it, maybe it has just opened up something. The fluttering increased rapidly during the chewing process and suddenly I know what is happening - what the fluttering means. I could slip into those states, possibly without warning even without taking Salvia in the most unexpected and maybe unwanted moments.

The transition with Salvia has changed to such a degree that in each transition the creases are smoothed a little more.

Put bowl aside and relaxed.

Went to other places whilst still retaining my human identity consciousness. Got to a stage where I am hearing thoughts - they're doing something deep in the brain, shutting off areas. I know the centre that formulates or stores language was being played with - it almost felt like they were teasing me, when certain words would come out funny. Shit! So, this is how certain people lose ability to speak coherently. I knew it could happen to me, it wasn't paranoia as my thoughts were coming out garbled and though what I wanted to say made sense to me if someone else were to hear me they'd be confused.

Several times I was going deep, I wanted to go deeper but I kept feeling like someone in physical was calling me, maybe my sister so I take the cotton wool out whilst still going deep - external noise irritating me. It felt like other souls were holding me back.

Chewed remaining three quids.

There was a mixture of irritation and anger. The souls or human counterparts maybe, they're rising and approaching me. There's a dark group as they get closer I feel them inside in the left part of the brain. I feel like they've just put something there, thought maybe it's a tumor or something unpleasant.

I recall at some stage I used my mind in a way that was very powerful, I don't know how to describe it. I would stretch the mind and when I wanted a certain group to move away from me I willed them away - they would slide away. Didn't do it for too long - didn't want them to know.

Yesterday I tried Salvia on a whim without contemplating why or setting intention and the timing was not exactly great. I don't think it was external noise that was getting in the way, I was being too paranoid thinking there might be a physical emergency and I'll be called to it while being in Salvia zone.

Next time I need to chew big quid for long - one quid should be chewed for 8-10 minutes
make sure there are no physical distraction - select times when I would not be disturbed.

I think for me the best times are early mornings - I tried 4am when there was absolute silence the other day and had a brief experience where there was an amazing explosion of full body tingles and then the sexual energy took hold. I think the souls that were involved had the impression my physical body was sleeping.

The best morning time seems to be at around 8am where I have a lot more clarity in the experiences. Night time experiences have been a little difficult most of these I have not written about - the initial stages have made me quite paranoid. I recall once a few street beings had to leave and this made me feel sad, I couldn't bear the thought of them leaving and I knew somehow it was my fault I also felt a commander that was issuing them this order only I couldn't clearly see him the way I saw the beings. Then there was this other order and I felt like they were stripping me of certain physical abilities. I saw this being who was going around the entire neighbourhood and placing a certain type of goggles or glasses over sleeping individuals - I only got scared when they had reached my family members, opened eyes and shocked them. They stopped and approached me. I think not understanding what they were doing made me paranoid. There's still fear of unknown. Now I think those goggles maybe what allows us to dream - don't know for sure. Anyways, after they noticed me there was a huge crowd gathered around me, attention from all over and I felt over exposed. Each group of beings waiting for me to open my eyes.

Now I know what I have to do is completely let go, no matter what they do or what irrational thoughts plague the mind I have to let go. Observe and be passive without getting caught in the drama and this means letting go of all fear. In my next session I have to make sure that I do not open my eyes, when the perception closes it is best to meditate for a while or simply let the body fall asleep.