Last night at about 1am got some Salvia ready on a whim, not quite planned out. As I was in the process of getting it ready I noticed the full moon which was coming round to the other side and I thought about how the moon can send information. My focus would be on the moon and hopefully I would be in time and the moon wouldn't disappear to the other side. This thought of the moon just popped in my head.
I let Salvia soak for 25 mins and then decided to roll the leaves in the dark beside bedroom window since moonlight was seeping in. 8 quids, started chewing slowly, masticating it thoroughly. Somewhere towards my 5th quid the effects were super fast and intense and put my bowl down. Heard a background sound which made me get up and chew the remaining quids.
As I finally rest my head on pillow the moon got to an angle where the light shone on my face, amazing how seamless this seemed to flow. I had not planned it out at all, it seemed that though I had decided to get the Salvia ready by impulse it was definitely intended - just that I'm not the one who was deciding. There was a flow that I was in sync with which seems to carry on to some degree in ordinary waking consciousness.
The surrounding is stirring from its slumber but this time my complete attention is on the moon - I'm waiting for the moon to stir awake or perhaps it would be more accurate to say I'm waiting to wake up to the moon so that we could communicate. Physically I could feel my eyes rolling around awkwardly whilst my gaze was fixed on the moon.
I remember at some point my mind seemed to wander off and then I came back and saw the window part was completely bulged out and this time because I caught another glimpse of the moon I forgot about reshaping it.
In this experience I could feel a retained memory of myself to a sufficient degree, I didn't forget my physical identity. I thought about all the important things in my life right now, my hopes and dreams. Returning to ordinary consciousness was very slow. I became aware of being under the duvet but it seemed to weigh a tonne. The duvet, the surrounding it all felt like a part of me. When I was moving I felt like I was moving a part of me.
I think I have a good analogy to describe what it feels like to be a part of everything. Imagine there is a field - the field could be composed of anything, mud, clay or even play dough. I'll stick with clay. Imagine the field as flat, then you see a bump somewhere, it gets bigger and bigger until it forms into a shape - and there are a vast number of shapes forming. The shapes are pasted with details and colours, soon they are alive and moving. The shapes have more dimension. Now there are so many shapes, so different looking to each other and unique but essentially they are all the same, it is all really just clay in many forms.
This is how under the effects of Salvia I visually see everything - literally seeing everything as it is.
Okay, so then I just relaxed closed eyes by which time the moon light dissipated as it moved along. Brain pulsing waves present. Then I felt energy going up the spine but I was still under the effects of Salvia which made me feel differently and I felt that had I not used Salvia I don't think I would've been able to handle that energy completely physically focused. In comparison to that other state the physcial state is like an exageration hence why Kundalini feels so intense when physically aware. In that other state the K feels like such a simple process you're not entirely sure if it's even real - perhaps it is a part of the illusion.
There were also moments where I would breathe out automatically with a sense of anxiety - no panic or sense of danger just some really anxious exhalations.
I fell asleep and dreamt about Salvia - recall is hazy but I think I dreamt about someone telling me to drink it with something or to take it in liquid form.
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