Time: 7:15am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 5am - listened to hemi-sync & during exercise felt heart & throat chakra sensations)
Mood: Calm
Symptoms: fluttering eyelids, vibrations in head, floating of consciousness, speedy movement
Goals: None
As I turn to my left side, very relaxed I could feel the oncoming of the vibrations. There's a slight physical distraction - I could hear my nephew in the next room crying and almost get up to check on him but refrain from any movement knowing his mother is there.
I close my eyes and my eyelids begin to flutter as the vibrations start to erupt in my head. Now I just notice my bed and the wall and begin to turn slowly anticlockwise - I think I'm heading for the window, since in cases like this that seems to be the routine.
Much to my surprise I head in the other direction towards the room next to mine. I can clearly see my bed but I'm moving so fast that my thoughts have slowed down and I don't even think to see if my body is where I left it.
I'm moving backwards and should I move back any further I would be entering the other room, but I don't. It's like I'm in the same spot with the sensation of moving backwards or my room is stretching. Suddenly I sink with blindness, however I can still feel that I am moving. I can even feel the direction I'm moving in now which is forward.
My vision returns, I'm swooshing across in a large dim living room - there's a large window across the room and I know I'm heading in that direction. As I go through the window blindness returns, but the sensation of moving is present. My vision slowly once again returns. I'm somewhere in a field, it is broad daylight, a nice sunny day. There are different types of vehicles parked. I notice a small cabin, there are bench tables. I can see groups of people about and think I'm in some camp site. Now I'm swooshing by even faster, feeling like a point of consciousness. I seem to have no control of the movement or I'm just so used to not trying to control it. I feel like I'm being carried by the wind, it is a really pleasant feeling.
I've somehow ended up in a street - my vision a lot clearer. I can see groups of people and others just walking by. I focus on a woman wearing a head scarf and suddenly I feel more dense now like I just got inside a body. I can't help but think I've just occupied a body that belongs to someone else. I'm adjusting to ordinary movement but my walking is a little sluggish. I walk up to the woman, excited I ask her for her name. Miraculously she replies although she isn't facing me so I can't tell if her mouth is moving - I think I heard her say something like 'Eku'.
I look up at the buildings and my surroundings wondering where I am, I ask the woman but she starts to walk off.
I spot an elderly woman and approach her hoping she could tell me where I am, but funnily enough she seems to be walking faster than me. Now I think there's no point - I'll have to just look about. Finally I find a street sign that reads 'Lea' a bit short and very easy to remember but there are other small letters I have a hard time focusing on. I feel like I can't stop and pause for too long - vision is getting a bit hazy so I walk on trying to speed up taking in as much as I can.
I can see a bus stop, a lot like the ones in London but a bit older looking. I stop to look for clues but again vision starts to get hazy. I simply continue to walk on.
I observe a variety of buildings. I don't bother to look inside these buildings as I'm focused on the signs. I look up at the signs hoping to see the names of these buildings and any clues (street number, name, telephone numbers anything verifiable). Some I suppose are shops. I notice a particular name 'Vepa' which seems familiar then I notice another name 'Cop' ending with a heart symbol.
I suddenly feel like I'm about to lose consciousness. I need to get up and quickly note down this experience before I forget it completely and with that final thought I return to C-1 at 7:35am.
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Sunday, 21 June 2009
False Awakening to Reality
I have been experiencing a lot of SP lately during my attempts to AP.
This morning I attempted at 6am but within a few minutes fell asleep. Woke up at 7:30 and decided to try again. I had to focus on relaxing. I felt my face was incredibly tense, especially my eyelids which were tightly sealed causing wrinkles so I let them relax then let my jaw hang loose focusing on the rhythm of my breathing.
Once completely relaxed I almost immediately found myself in the SP state - I'm never really sure what to do during these states other than try to move but I refrained from forcing any movement hoping that eventually it will lead to an AP.
I woke up and felt the sensation of my earphones plugged in my ears. This was strange as I couldn't recall putting on my mp3 player last night. I briefly thought maybe I'm just slightly disoriented since I had just woken up. Eyes closed, still sleepy I reached out to grab the mp3 player on the left side of the bed feeling for it. As I brought it closer to view what I last listened to I was shocked into alertness. I could not see my arms, my hands nor the device that I thought I was holding. However, the bed was visible, my room still existed except for my body. I could feel the sensation of moving my arms. It wasn't long till panic set in. Soon enough I continued having a few more false awakenings each time thinking I had awakened until finally I really woke up at 9am - funnily enough the only time that I decided to do a reality check.
FAs are really interesting and they are usually incredibly vivid. I think they go by unnoticed simply because in the context in which they unfold - in a very familiar physical format. They replicate the physical almost completely and the belief that you have woken up is just as present as when you really do wake up. Perhaps this is why it is easy to be fooled by them and therefore harder to notice the slight variations. Even when sometimes the variable is a missing arm or two it is still a little tricky to realize you're having a false awakening. They don't occur regularly and most likely why I can't seem to recognize it when I'm having one.
This morning I attempted at 6am but within a few minutes fell asleep. Woke up at 7:30 and decided to try again. I had to focus on relaxing. I felt my face was incredibly tense, especially my eyelids which were tightly sealed causing wrinkles so I let them relax then let my jaw hang loose focusing on the rhythm of my breathing.
Once completely relaxed I almost immediately found myself in the SP state - I'm never really sure what to do during these states other than try to move but I refrained from forcing any movement hoping that eventually it will lead to an AP.
I woke up and felt the sensation of my earphones plugged in my ears. This was strange as I couldn't recall putting on my mp3 player last night. I briefly thought maybe I'm just slightly disoriented since I had just woken up. Eyes closed, still sleepy I reached out to grab the mp3 player on the left side of the bed feeling for it. As I brought it closer to view what I last listened to I was shocked into alertness. I could not see my arms, my hands nor the device that I thought I was holding. However, the bed was visible, my room still existed except for my body. I could feel the sensation of moving my arms. It wasn't long till panic set in. Soon enough I continued having a few more false awakenings each time thinking I had awakened until finally I really woke up at 9am - funnily enough the only time that I decided to do a reality check.
FAs are really interesting and they are usually incredibly vivid. I think they go by unnoticed simply because in the context in which they unfold - in a very familiar physical format. They replicate the physical almost completely and the belief that you have woken up is just as present as when you really do wake up. Perhaps this is why it is easy to be fooled by them and therefore harder to notice the slight variations. Even when sometimes the variable is a missing arm or two it is still a little tricky to realize you're having a false awakening. They don't occur regularly and most likely why I can't seem to recognize it when I'm having one.
Friday, 19 June 2009
Mind Controller
I didn't make any attempt to AP this morning nor am I sure if this was an AP or just a nightmare. The experience unfolded after several vivid dreams where I had moments of lucidity.
Dreaming Of A Mind Controller
The last dream before the AP was about a woman seeking advice regarding her husband from another woman who seemed to be some kind of adviser. It's worth mentioning this dream since I feel it most likely influenced my AP experience.
Suddenly in mid conversation between the women I become aware of my dream state but I don't try to immediately control it. I find myself absorbed in the conversation and realize the advisor isn't exactly speaking in words - she's simply focusing her gaze into the woman's eyes. The other woman seems more mesmerized as though in a hypnotic trance.
The advisor places a sharp long object into the other woman's hand - looks like a knitting needle. At this point I can clearly sense the adviser's message - she has told the woman to use the needle to kill her husband. It was more like she implanted the idea into her mind without the woman's consent.
The woman now equipped with a needle walks down a long staircase with one intention; to kill her husband. I talk to her to snap her out but I feel like I'm just thinking the thoughts, it gets to the point where I'm screaming in my mind for her to snap out of it. Tired with my attempt to awaken her a thought enters my mind - I'm thinking as soon as she steps outside she will snap out of the trance and she did. No longer looking like a mindless zombie, she appeared confused looking out in the traffic probably wondering how she got there.
I feel relieved despite not knowing this woman whether she was a DC or an actual person. Despite it all being a dream I was glad the woman came to her senses. After a few seconds I found myself in the SP state.
Meeting A Mind Controller
During the SP I allow myself to mentally relax knowing I'm about to AP. I become very aware of the window, in the corner there is a black blob at least that was my perception initially. Somehow I'm in a seated position. The dark form changed into a head with long hair - It looked like a partial female figure. She was lingering outside in broad daylight, her head, neck and shoulders were visible. She was almost featureless or it was just hard to see the contours of her face as she looked like a 3d form of a person out of a photo negative.
In a situation like this I'm usually scared, however this time I felt anger. Fragmented thoughts of people who I have had bad experiences with entered my mind. The anger I felt increased in intensity. I reached boiling point, I was consumed by anger so much that ideas of wanting to hurt everyone who had ever caused me emotional pain came automatically. I almost completely forgot about the dark figure next to my window until without warning my body glided in that direction. Another thought entered my mind "You know you want to kill them, just do it!" I willed myself backwards.
I knew at this point that these thoughts weren't mine and snapped back but still felt that anger and rage only this time it was directed at the being outside my window. I felt somehow that whoever or whatever this thing was, it was causing me to feel that anger and rage. As I slowly began returning to C-1 I knew there was a way to deal with a situation like this other than reacting from a state of anger. I think I returned to C-1 (at 5am) as I was becoming fully conscious in the AP.
After some reflecting I have to say this is perhaps the most disturbing experience ever. I've felt anger before towards others but never took it to such an extreme - this was like literally being in the mind of a killer. I wonder what or who that being was next to the window. It seemed to be drawing me towards it and despite it being immobile it seemed to exert control. Was it controlling me? Was it a separate entity / being or just a dark part of my own subconscious that I don't even know about?
Dreaming Of A Mind Controller
The last dream before the AP was about a woman seeking advice regarding her husband from another woman who seemed to be some kind of adviser. It's worth mentioning this dream since I feel it most likely influenced my AP experience.
Suddenly in mid conversation between the women I become aware of my dream state but I don't try to immediately control it. I find myself absorbed in the conversation and realize the advisor isn't exactly speaking in words - she's simply focusing her gaze into the woman's eyes. The other woman seems more mesmerized as though in a hypnotic trance.
The advisor places a sharp long object into the other woman's hand - looks like a knitting needle. At this point I can clearly sense the adviser's message - she has told the woman to use the needle to kill her husband. It was more like she implanted the idea into her mind without the woman's consent.
The woman now equipped with a needle walks down a long staircase with one intention; to kill her husband. I talk to her to snap her out but I feel like I'm just thinking the thoughts, it gets to the point where I'm screaming in my mind for her to snap out of it. Tired with my attempt to awaken her a thought enters my mind - I'm thinking as soon as she steps outside she will snap out of the trance and she did. No longer looking like a mindless zombie, she appeared confused looking out in the traffic probably wondering how she got there.
I feel relieved despite not knowing this woman whether she was a DC or an actual person. Despite it all being a dream I was glad the woman came to her senses. After a few seconds I found myself in the SP state.
Meeting A Mind Controller
During the SP I allow myself to mentally relax knowing I'm about to AP. I become very aware of the window, in the corner there is a black blob at least that was my perception initially. Somehow I'm in a seated position. The dark form changed into a head with long hair - It looked like a partial female figure. She was lingering outside in broad daylight, her head, neck and shoulders were visible. She was almost featureless or it was just hard to see the contours of her face as she looked like a 3d form of a person out of a photo negative.
In a situation like this I'm usually scared, however this time I felt anger. Fragmented thoughts of people who I have had bad experiences with entered my mind. The anger I felt increased in intensity. I reached boiling point, I was consumed by anger so much that ideas of wanting to hurt everyone who had ever caused me emotional pain came automatically. I almost completely forgot about the dark figure next to my window until without warning my body glided in that direction. Another thought entered my mind "You know you want to kill them, just do it!" I willed myself backwards.
I knew at this point that these thoughts weren't mine and snapped back but still felt that anger and rage only this time it was directed at the being outside my window. I felt somehow that whoever or whatever this thing was, it was causing me to feel that anger and rage. As I slowly began returning to C-1 I knew there was a way to deal with a situation like this other than reacting from a state of anger. I think I returned to C-1 (at 5am) as I was becoming fully conscious in the AP.
After some reflecting I have to say this is perhaps the most disturbing experience ever. I've felt anger before towards others but never took it to such an extreme - this was like literally being in the mind of a killer. I wonder what or who that being was next to the window. It seemed to be drawing me towards it and despite it being immobile it seemed to exert control. Was it controlling me? Was it a separate entity / being or just a dark part of my own subconscious that I don't even know about?
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Threshold #4 - Color Breathing
Color Breathing uses the resonance of colors to develop the ability in directing physical and nonphysical energy.
The exercise uses the following colors: green for reducing excess or harmful emotional energy; red for increasing physical strength, speed and coordination; purple for restoring and normalizing physical condition.
I started on the exercise last night and I managed to remain conscious until some time after breathing in purple at which point I fell asleep.
The exercise uses the following colors: green for reducing excess or harmful emotional energy; red for increasing physical strength, speed and coordination; purple for restoring and normalizing physical condition.
I started on the exercise last night and I managed to remain conscious until some time after breathing in purple at which point I fell asleep.
Monday, 15 June 2009
Focus 12 progress
One Month Patterning
Practiced the exercise from One Month Patterning about three times with audio – In the first 2 sessions I had lost consciousness at the point where I’m supposed to think, feel, or imagine the physical, mental or emotional desired pattern. The loss of consciousness was like clicking-out but not quite – in both instances I regained consciousness during the end of the track and felt like I was slowly waking up from a deep sleep. I noticed that I was smiling which was not something I did consciously – there was some positive emotion of excitement and joy present – I felt like laughing, but then wondered why which I believe disconnected me from that state.
In the third session I did not experience this pleasant state and I think it was because I was making an effort in remaining conscious throughout the exercise. I’m starting to think even if I am not conscious enough to follow the instructions perhaps I am doing it on a more unconscious/ subconscious level. However, I would like to be more conscious of the states that I enter and be more conscious of the process involved.
I will continue to practice the One Month Patterning exercise now and then. My main goal is to get into a more enhanced state of Focus 12 so that I am able to use these tools more effectively.
I have moved on to the following exercise, 'Threshold #4 - Color Breathing' and I will share my experience with this soon.
Practiced the exercise from One Month Patterning about three times with audio – In the first 2 sessions I had lost consciousness at the point where I’m supposed to think, feel, or imagine the physical, mental or emotional desired pattern. The loss of consciousness was like clicking-out but not quite – in both instances I regained consciousness during the end of the track and felt like I was slowly waking up from a deep sleep. I noticed that I was smiling which was not something I did consciously – there was some positive emotion of excitement and joy present – I felt like laughing, but then wondered why which I believe disconnected me from that state.
In the third session I did not experience this pleasant state and I think it was because I was making an effort in remaining conscious throughout the exercise. I’m starting to think even if I am not conscious enough to follow the instructions perhaps I am doing it on a more unconscious/ subconscious level. However, I would like to be more conscious of the states that I enter and be more conscious of the process involved.
I will continue to practice the One Month Patterning exercise now and then. My main goal is to get into a more enhanced state of Focus 12 so that I am able to use these tools more effectively.
I have moved on to the following exercise, 'Threshold #4 - Color Breathing' and I will share my experience with this soon.
Friday, 5 June 2009
Staying Awake & Memory
With more practice I've noticed that inducing astral projections are fairly easy - remembering the details of the experience is the hard part especially a long projection.
For the past two weeks I've been waking up between 3 and 5am almost every day meaning there were that many opportunities to AP. However, staying awake has been difficult - I have been feeling incredibly groggy during these times and unable to stay awake.
My aim for next week when I do wake up during these times is to walk about for a bit to keep me awake. I also intend on listening to 'Develop A Powerful Memory' hypnosis before my AP attempts in order to help remember the experiences with more clarity.
For the past two weeks I've been waking up between 3 and 5am almost every day meaning there were that many opportunities to AP. However, staying awake has been difficult - I have been feeling incredibly groggy during these times and unable to stay awake.
My aim for next week when I do wake up during these times is to walk about for a bit to keep me awake. I also intend on listening to 'Develop A Powerful Memory' hypnosis before my AP attempts in order to help remember the experiences with more clarity.
Astral Arms
Time: 7am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 4:45am), listened to 'Develop a Powerful Memory' hypnosis by Glenn Harrold
Mood: Calm
Symptoms: None
Goals: None
Before this experience I had a question in my mind, something that just suddenly unraveled. I wondered if I had actually lived all those years of my life that is perceived as the past or whether I had just arrived with the memory of those years.
Experience: It first began with some very lucid dreams, they were brief. I would find myself in unfamiliar places realizing that I was dreaming.
Eventually I ended up where I started - in bed. I couldn't see that I was in bed but I perceived that I was still in bed looking out into a large screen that covered my entire field of vision. There was a desert with a woman coming out of a car. She had blonde hair and was wearing a denim jacket and black trousers. I recognized her to be the character Allison Dubois from my favourite TV show Medium. Soon some more short clips unraveled and it seemed like they were from the actual show but I couldn't pinpoint which episodes they were. It wasn't long before I thought how amazing it would be if I could watch the new episodes that have not yet been broadcasted and most likely not even produced yet.
I had lost the perception of being in bed at this point almost as if I was now in these scenes that were flashing by.
Soon I found myself in a familiar place, a familiar memory and at that point I knew I was living some past memory. I can't seem to recall the memory right now only that at the time I tried my very best to memorize it.
The perception of being in bed came back, I noticed a few images in front of me. There was a picture of a green plant with the word touch written underneath. There were more images and more writing but they were not as vivid as the plant. Then I sensed my arms stretching out and then coming in front of me side by side. Both hands in a fist. I couldn't see my arms and hands but knew they were in front of me. They felt very solid I had to question whether I was physically moving them or not. Then I felt my thumbs uncurling followed by the rest of my fingers - one by one in pairs. The motion was very uncontrolled but knowing these movements were benign I went with it.
My arms stretched out again at which point I slowly sensed my actual physical arms, my hands were on my chest - right hand on top of the left. My left astral arm folded onto my chest aligning with my physical left arm followed by my right astral arm folding and aligning with my physical right arm. Almost instantly I opened my eyes and felt my hands on my chest in the exact position I percieved a few seconds ago. Returned to C-1 at 7:15am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 4:45am), listened to 'Develop a Powerful Memory' hypnosis by Glenn Harrold
Mood: Calm
Symptoms: None
Goals: None
Before this experience I had a question in my mind, something that just suddenly unraveled. I wondered if I had actually lived all those years of my life that is perceived as the past or whether I had just arrived with the memory of those years.
Experience: It first began with some very lucid dreams, they were brief. I would find myself in unfamiliar places realizing that I was dreaming.
Eventually I ended up where I started - in bed. I couldn't see that I was in bed but I perceived that I was still in bed looking out into a large screen that covered my entire field of vision. There was a desert with a woman coming out of a car. She had blonde hair and was wearing a denim jacket and black trousers. I recognized her to be the character Allison Dubois from my favourite TV show Medium. Soon some more short clips unraveled and it seemed like they were from the actual show but I couldn't pinpoint which episodes they were. It wasn't long before I thought how amazing it would be if I could watch the new episodes that have not yet been broadcasted and most likely not even produced yet.
I had lost the perception of being in bed at this point almost as if I was now in these scenes that were flashing by.
Soon I found myself in a familiar place, a familiar memory and at that point I knew I was living some past memory. I can't seem to recall the memory right now only that at the time I tried my very best to memorize it.
The perception of being in bed came back, I noticed a few images in front of me. There was a picture of a green plant with the word touch written underneath. There were more images and more writing but they were not as vivid as the plant. Then I sensed my arms stretching out and then coming in front of me side by side. Both hands in a fist. I couldn't see my arms and hands but knew they were in front of me. They felt very solid I had to question whether I was physically moving them or not. Then I felt my thumbs uncurling followed by the rest of my fingers - one by one in pairs. The motion was very uncontrolled but knowing these movements were benign I went with it.
My arms stretched out again at which point I slowly sensed my actual physical arms, my hands were on my chest - right hand on top of the left. My left astral arm folded onto my chest aligning with my physical left arm followed by my right astral arm folding and aligning with my physical right arm. Almost instantly I opened my eyes and felt my hands on my chest in the exact position I percieved a few seconds ago. Returned to C-1 at 7:15am
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